Not-Me-Monday: Semi-Trucks, Punk Rockers, and Keys

It’s Not-Me-Monday again, and this week I most certainly did not find myself stuck in construction traffic with a screaming, starving baby. I mean any sensible mother would have known her baby was going to be hungry, and would have planned accordingly. And I certainly didn’t decide to just pull over to the shoulder of the road to nurse her – especially since I was surrounded by semi-trucks, with drivers that had front row tickets to the show. Not me!

And after the baby was happily fed, and returned to the car seat, I definitely didn’t continued to patiently wait for the sea of semi-trucks to start moving, without even questioning why the construction delay was taking so long. Nor did I pull out my knitting and try and squeeze in a few rows while we waited. Now that would be silly!

And after a significant amount of time passed, I most certainly didn’t try to act unruffled and serene, when I finally asked one of the stopped truck drivers what was taking so long. And I definitely did not try to seem unflappable when he explained to me that there wasn’t a construction delay AT ALL but rather all of the semi-trucks were waiting for a gate to open at the refinery, so they could dump their loads. I mean, why would there be construction in the middle of the high, arid plains anyhow?

And when I wrote the above paragraph. I most certainly didn’t initially spell “unflappable” as “unflabbable”. I mean, "unflabbable" is not only not a word, but if it were it would be a meaningless word I’d know nothing about – like the phrases “flat-abs” or “cellulite-free”. Nope, not me!

And I would never style my daughter’s hair to look like a punk-rocker chic. Nope, not me!

I definitely did not let my baby play with my keys while we were shopping. And I definitely wasn’t surprised to find that she had dropped them somewhere in the store, without me noticing. No, that would just be downright silly! And I didn’t frantically walk up and down the aisles looking for them, or ask the checker upfront if she’d seen any keys. And when I found them at the bottom of the basket, I definitely didn’t try to act nonchalant, and say "Here they are," in a calm, even voice, even though I was secretly shouting “Hallelujah!!!!!” inside. No, definitely not me!

Okay, I might have done those things this week. It’s probable. Highly probable.

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