Thursday, October 20, 2011
House Before and During Pics
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| Every room was a different color! |
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| Mice had eaten through the bottom of these cabinets! |
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| Non-working Toilet |
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| The gutted kitchen |
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| Some extra help - scrapping off the popcorn ceiling |
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| The start of the bathroom renovation |
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| One room popcorn free |
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| Master bath - with spray-painted shower tile! |
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| At least we have a view |
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| The hallway/closet of many colors (A.K.A. Joseph's Coat Closet) |
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| Painted brick fireplace |
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Terrible Mother
I’m a terrible mother.
She hadn’t had a nap, and I’d dragged her to another afternoon play rehearsal. She was cranky, tired, and just plain OVER IT! She fussed, she whined, she cried, she screamed. It wasn’t pretty. In fact – it was down right humiliating. The principal tried to cheer her up with his usually effective antics – the play director tried distracting her – we gave her a 30 gallon plastic tub of Legos to swim in. Nothing worked. She refused to be cajoled out of her tantrum.
I’m a terrible mother.
Earlier we had walked up and down the halls of the school finishing a few pre-rehearsal errands. Another teacher grabbed me to discuss some scheduling issues. As we stood there in deep conversation, I suddenly realized Juliette had disappeared. I called her name. She didn’t answer. I looked into a couple of the adjacent rooms. Nowhere. Suddenly she appeared from across the hall carrying a new found treasure – a bright blue plastic pail with the words “BARF BUCKET” boldly printed on the side.
I’m a terrible mother.
Later as the rehearsal was wrapping up, I took a few minutes to start cleaning out some of our activity storage space. Jewel had finally settled down, so I let her run around the cafeteria for a few minutes – anything to buy some peace. As I turned around to empty out a few bins, I didn’t notice that the drama club students had opened the outside doors. Two minutes later as I scanned the room, Juliette was nowhere to be found – again. But this time when I found her, she wasn’t carrying a puke receptacle; instead she was running down the school sidewalk, just feet away from oncoming traffic.
I’m a terrible mother.
It has taken quite a few days for the scene of imaginary tragedy to stop running through my head. Thank goodness my legs move faster than hers. Thank goodness she didn’t make the split second decision to bolt in front of the two cars. Thank Goodness for His guardian angels!
Yes, I definitely feel like a terrible mother!
Let’s face it, there are certainly times when we can (and probably should!) make better choices as mothers. There are times when we ask too much of ourselves or our children. There are times when we mess up – and it is ugly, gross, and terrifying.
When I think about the person I want to be, the mom I want to be, I’m realizing more and more that I just don’t measure up. I’m human. And as much as I’d love to be a perfect mom, with a perfect child, it just isn’t possible. Darn it!
But who I want to be is someone who is able to accept those human frailties in the light of God’s mercy. I want to be the type of person that doesn’t waste time beating myself up, but a person who can say, “Thank goodness God’s not finished with me yet.” I want to be able to say, “Well, I really botched that one – thank you Jesus for protecting my daughter today.” When all is said and done, I want Juliette to say, “My mother may not have been perfect, but she continually pointed me to the One Who Is.”
So yes, at times I am a terrible mother – but I am always a terribly undeserving mother who is covered by God’s beautiful, extravagant grace! And for that truth I couldn't be any more grateful.
She hadn’t had a nap, and I’d dragged her to another afternoon play rehearsal. She was cranky, tired, and just plain OVER IT! She fussed, she whined, she cried, she screamed. It wasn’t pretty. In fact – it was down right humiliating. The principal tried to cheer her up with his usually effective antics – the play director tried distracting her – we gave her a 30 gallon plastic tub of Legos to swim in. Nothing worked. She refused to be cajoled out of her tantrum.
I’m a terrible mother.
Earlier we had walked up and down the halls of the school finishing a few pre-rehearsal errands. Another teacher grabbed me to discuss some scheduling issues. As we stood there in deep conversation, I suddenly realized Juliette had disappeared. I called her name. She didn’t answer. I looked into a couple of the adjacent rooms. Nowhere. Suddenly she appeared from across the hall carrying a new found treasure – a bright blue plastic pail with the words “BARF BUCKET” boldly printed on the side.
I’m a terrible mother.
Later as the rehearsal was wrapping up, I took a few minutes to start cleaning out some of our activity storage space. Jewel had finally settled down, so I let her run around the cafeteria for a few minutes – anything to buy some peace. As I turned around to empty out a few bins, I didn’t notice that the drama club students had opened the outside doors. Two minutes later as I scanned the room, Juliette was nowhere to be found – again. But this time when I found her, she wasn’t carrying a puke receptacle; instead she was running down the school sidewalk, just feet away from oncoming traffic.
I’m a terrible mother.
It has taken quite a few days for the scene of imaginary tragedy to stop running through my head. Thank goodness my legs move faster than hers. Thank goodness she didn’t make the split second decision to bolt in front of the two cars. Thank Goodness for His guardian angels!
Yes, I definitely feel like a terrible mother!
Let’s face it, there are certainly times when we can (and probably should!) make better choices as mothers. There are times when we ask too much of ourselves or our children. There are times when we mess up – and it is ugly, gross, and terrifying.
When I think about the person I want to be, the mom I want to be, I’m realizing more and more that I just don’t measure up. I’m human. And as much as I’d love to be a perfect mom, with a perfect child, it just isn’t possible. Darn it!
But who I want to be is someone who is able to accept those human frailties in the light of God’s mercy. I want to be the type of person that doesn’t waste time beating myself up, but a person who can say, “Thank goodness God’s not finished with me yet.” I want to be able to say, “Well, I really botched that one – thank you Jesus for protecting my daughter today.” When all is said and done, I want Juliette to say, “My mother may not have been perfect, but she continually pointed me to the One Who Is.”
So yes, at times I am a terrible mother – but I am always a terribly undeserving mother who is covered by God’s beautiful, extravagant grace! And for that truth I couldn't be any more grateful.
Friday, April 1, 2011
No Fooling
Yesterday two of my dear friends and I snuck off for a Mom's Only Day of Skiing. Yippee! I wanted to make a special treat to share with my partners in
But I found this recipe - tweaked it a bit, and I have to say they are DELICIOUS. I never thought that no eggs, no oil/butter, and no white sugar would be so tasty. With no cholestoral and only about a 1/2 a gram of fat per cookie, they are pretty much a guilt-free, no-fooling, feel-good treat.
So with out further ado, here is the recipe:
Apricot Oatmeal Yummies
1 tsp. chia seeds (or 2 tsp. flax seeds) soaked in 2 Tbsps. water
1 cup. oats
1 cup. whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup. raisins
1/2 cup fresh apricots, coarsely chopped
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 cup agave nectar syrup
1/2 banana mashed
1/2 tsp. lime juice
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix chia seeds with water and set aside. Mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients and fruit. Add chia/water mixture. Combine wet and dry ingredients and spoon onto cookie sheet. Cook 10 mins our until firm. Makes 18. Enjoy!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Hard To Be Blue Around Her
A few days ago, Juliette staggered into my bedroom in the dusky morning light, with droopy, barely open eyes, whining for "blue strawberries". She curled up with me under the comforter and fell fast asleep again. I wrote off her comment as sleepy jibber-jabber, and returned to dreaming myself. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, but what was probably about 45 minutes later, she woke me again asking for "blue strawberries". I rubbed my eyes and processed as fast as my pre-breakfast brain could. Blue strawberries . . . blue strawberries . . . blue strawberries. Aha! Blue strawberries = blueberries. Of course. Breakfast is always better with some "blue strawberries"! That girl sure has taste.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ogunquit
On the hour and half drive from Boston, we had quite a discussion on how to pronounce the name.
I made the bed and breakfast owner say it several times.
I'm still not sure I have it right.
But they served a yummy wild blueberry bandana, and Seth got his Maine lobster.
I guess I'll just have to go back to Ogunquit again someday - a person's got to learn how to pronounce the places they've been.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Boston and My Beloved
Seth had a conference in Boston at the beginning of March, so we decided that I would go with him. With his crazy work/school schedule we needed a little time away together. Our in-laws were kind enough to agree to take Juliette for the week, so we took a few extra days to enjoy the town - and of course hang out with my sweet sister Courtney. It was a real treat, because last time I had been there was to help her move. Now that she has been at school there for a year and a half, she was able to show us around. I even got to sit in on one of her classes. It was fun to play college student again - at least until the professor gave out the assignments!
Seth surprised me, and bought us tickets to the Boston Symphony Orchestra. The symphony hall was so beautiful - and the music was just as lovely!
The one thing Seth said he REALLY wanted to do while we were in Boston was visit MIT and Harvard. Here is a picture of one of the Harvard dorms. A little bit nicer than CSU. Just a little bit. Haha!
I did manage to coerce Seth into visiting a few historical sites that were not institutes of higher learning.
We had a great time - even though I had worried and worried about how Juliette would do with being apart for that long (and me too, for that matter!). I even asked my friends to specifically pray for us. Well, Jewel didn't even blink an eye when we dropped her off with Grandpa and Grandma. And whenever we'd call to check in, she'd talk for about all of thirty seconds and then merrifly head off to play. The big hug I got on our return made me think that she might have missed me a little however.
Of course when Grandpa and Grandma left she cried and cried, asking over and over to go "in grandpa's car". Which just goes to show you should never waste time worrying - it doesn't help, and even if you do worry, it probably isn't even about the right things.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Seasons
It's snowing again . . . sigh. It's times like these that I have to remind myself of God's promise that there is "a season for everything".
It will be spring again.
Someday.
The past three months have been snowy, but they have also been a season of busyness for us. There have been passing moments when I have felt guilty for not taking a few moments to record the 'going ons' - but they have been - as I said - passing. More and more, I'm coming to peace with the fact that just like the natural rhythm of spring and fall, summer and winter, our lives have seasons too. Seasons of busyness and servanthood, reflection and rest. The secret of course, if making sure you don't get stuck in any one of them. No one of us wants to be caught wearing a Christmas sweater to a spring graduation party! And I certainly don't want to be accused of being ruled by a tyrannically overcrammed schedule. But I'm confident that the dust will settle eventually.
Life is such a balancing act . . . sigh (again).
January was very full - mostly with shows like 'Cat in the Hat' and 'Super Why'. Juliette's mysterious lumps, that confounded all of the doctors and specialists we visited in December, decided to abscess. So at the beginning of January, we took her to the local clinic to have the first one lanced.
We are so grateful for our little clinic here, but I'm not going to lie - it was a traumatic experience for everyone. Unfortunately, they couldn't sedate her, so it required four adults to hold her down, while the Dr. sliced it open. Before we went in for "the procedure," I was giving Seth a hard time about dreading it so. But when it actually came down to it, I was the one that nearly fainted when they opened it up (No really, the nurse made me lie down, put my feet up, and gave me a cool wash cloth for my head. Pathetic, I know!). When the doctor opened her festering abcess, the smell was ghastly, and the amount of curdled puss that came out of my little baby's neck was horrifying. To this day, I sort of throw up a little bit when I think about it.
They don't know why it abscessed - especially since she had been on several rounds of antibiotics. She developed a second abscess further up on her neck later that month.
So we spend most of January and February in front of the TV with hot-packs on Juliette's face/neck - usually for an half-an-hour, three times a day or more. We had to keep her wounds open and cleaned, which meant ripping off the scabs and squeezing out the puss multiple times a day. There were a lot of tears in our house - mostly hers, but sometimes mine too. I felt like I was practically abusing my child. She'd cry as soon as I turned on the bathroom faucet to warm up the washclothes. Poor Seth couldn't hardly take it. And when my dad visited, he had to leave the house until we were done. Yuck, yuck, yuck!
But, there were some really good things that came out of it too. We got a lot of cuddle time in. I developed an even greater respect for those in the medical field. I got really good at wrestling a squirming two-year-old. And the whole experience has made me so much more appreciative of life, health, and family in general!
The good news is - the mysterious hard lumps are gone. She still has the lance wounds on her face, but gratefully they are getting better and better each day. I'm praying that they don't scar, but even if they do, I'm just so thankful that she didn't have cancer or some other terrible, terrible disease. God is so good!
Seth has been super busy with "the hardest class of his master's degree". He also was promoted to project manager over all of the projects in the largest town in our county, plus another town that is over an hour away. This means long commutes and late nights at the office. That being said, we are so thankful for the plentiful work, especially because at the beginning of the year his boss warned him that they might be cutting hours across the board.
Note to self - be more specific when you pray. I should have not asked for more hours for Seth before they had even cut his regular hours. That will teach me!
My season of busyness has been obviously taking extra care of Jewel, trying to be supportive to my hardworking man, and putting together my big grant project at the elementary school. We had our World Fair last week - and it was terrific. If you want to see some of the things that the kids did, check it out here: http://www.fridayenrichment.blogspot.com/
My next big project: potty training. Truly there is a season for everything.
It will be spring again.
Someday.
The past three months have been snowy, but they have also been a season of busyness for us. There have been passing moments when I have felt guilty for not taking a few moments to record the 'going ons' - but they have been - as I said - passing. More and more, I'm coming to peace with the fact that just like the natural rhythm of spring and fall, summer and winter, our lives have seasons too. Seasons of busyness and servanthood, reflection and rest. The secret of course, if making sure you don't get stuck in any one of them. No one of us wants to be caught wearing a Christmas sweater to a spring graduation party! And I certainly don't want to be accused of being ruled by a tyrannically overcrammed schedule. But I'm confident that the dust will settle eventually.
Life is such a balancing act . . . sigh (again).
~~~
January was very full - mostly with shows like 'Cat in the Hat' and 'Super Why'. Juliette's mysterious lumps, that confounded all of the doctors and specialists we visited in December, decided to abscess. So at the beginning of January, we took her to the local clinic to have the first one lanced.
We are so grateful for our little clinic here, but I'm not going to lie - it was a traumatic experience for everyone. Unfortunately, they couldn't sedate her, so it required four adults to hold her down, while the Dr. sliced it open. Before we went in for "the procedure," I was giving Seth a hard time about dreading it so. But when it actually came down to it, I was the one that nearly fainted when they opened it up (No really, the nurse made me lie down, put my feet up, and gave me a cool wash cloth for my head. Pathetic, I know!). When the doctor opened her festering abcess, the smell was ghastly, and the amount of curdled puss that came out of my little baby's neck was horrifying. To this day, I sort of throw up a little bit when I think about it.
They don't know why it abscessed - especially since she had been on several rounds of antibiotics. She developed a second abscess further up on her neck later that month.
So we spend most of January and February in front of the TV with hot-packs on Juliette's face/neck - usually for an half-an-hour, three times a day or more. We had to keep her wounds open and cleaned, which meant ripping off the scabs and squeezing out the puss multiple times a day. There were a lot of tears in our house - mostly hers, but sometimes mine too. I felt like I was practically abusing my child. She'd cry as soon as I turned on the bathroom faucet to warm up the washclothes. Poor Seth couldn't hardly take it. And when my dad visited, he had to leave the house until we were done. Yuck, yuck, yuck!
But, there were some really good things that came out of it too. We got a lot of cuddle time in. I developed an even greater respect for those in the medical field. I got really good at wrestling a squirming two-year-old. And the whole experience has made me so much more appreciative of life, health, and family in general!
The good news is - the mysterious hard lumps are gone. She still has the lance wounds on her face, but gratefully they are getting better and better each day. I'm praying that they don't scar, but even if they do, I'm just so thankful that she didn't have cancer or some other terrible, terrible disease. God is so good!
~~~
Note to self - be more specific when you pray. I should have not asked for more hours for Seth before they had even cut his regular hours. That will teach me!
~~~
My next big project: potty training. Truly there is a season for everything.
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Love Poem
To Juliette - Valentine's Day 2011
When she still smelled brand new
And curled her fingers tightly around mine
And the downy hair on her head swirled perfectly
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she began to belly laugh
And did her best to squirm away from me
As I planted raspberry kisses on her newly washed tummy
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she learned to titter and totter
And discovered how to take the books off the shelf
And how to de-organize cabinets in the blink of an eye
I thought to myself- I may not love this age, but I’ll certainly miss it someday.
Tonight as we read bedtime stories
And I ran my fingers through her curls
And I tucked her into her ‘big-girl’ bed for the second night ever
I thought to myself- I love this age.
Parenthood holds so many gifts.
Each stage unwraps even more to be enjoyed.
I want to savor each moment,
Letting the magic of this journey forever write itself upon my memory.
Soon she’ll be reading, driving, making a life of her own.
The reality of the inevitable seldom lets itself be forgotten.
But if I could just bottle up these moments,
I most certainly would.
For with all my heart- I love this age.
When she still smelled brand new
And curled her fingers tightly around mine
And the downy hair on her head swirled perfectly
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she began to belly laugh
And did her best to squirm away from me
As I planted raspberry kisses on her newly washed tummy
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she learned to titter and totter
And discovered how to take the books off the shelf
And how to de-organize cabinets in the blink of an eye
I thought to myself- I may not love this age, but I’ll certainly miss it someday.
Tonight as we read bedtime stories
And I ran my fingers through her curls
And I tucked her into her ‘big-girl’ bed for the second night ever
I thought to myself- I love this age.
Parenthood holds so many gifts.
Each stage unwraps even more to be enjoyed.
I want to savor each moment,
Letting the magic of this journey forever write itself upon my memory.
Soon she’ll be reading, driving, making a life of her own.
The reality of the inevitable seldom lets itself be forgotten.
But if I could just bottle up these moments,
I most certainly would.
For with all my heart- I love this age.
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