Saturday Afternoon Thoughts

We've enjoyed a laid-back Saturday.  Juliette had a little birthday party to go to this morning, and is now enjoying a much needed nap.  Our town is having their holiday parade and festival this evening, so all of us have just been enjoying a couple of hours of rest and relaxation before the big shin-dig. 

I've used this time to catch up on a few of my friend's blogs.  I came across this great entry from some friends of ours who have a daughter that was born with special needs.  It is such a precious testimony of God's faithfulness to them during their journey.  If you have a moment, read it.  You'll be glad you did!

So many dear friends and family members have called, text, e-mailed or messaged us over the past few days.  What a blessing to be surround by so many people who are faithfully lifting us up in prayer.  It is making a difference - we certainly feel buoyed!

My aunt and I were talking yesterday about how easy it is to get wrapped up in our own sagas.  I've certainly been guilty of that the past few weeks! As we were waiting in the pre-op waiting room and my mind was consumed with keeping Juliette content (and contained!), there was a little boy who caught my eye.  He looked a little bit younger than Juliette, but was pale and listless.  For more than an hour he lay nearly motionless on his mother's lap - clearly quite ill.  The only time I saw him move was to vomit.  His parents were very young looking, and the fear that I felt in my heart for my child looked like it was a hundred times more intense for them.  They were eventually whisked away by the nurses, but the vision of that little boy has not left me.  I am so thankful for the reminder that there are so many others who are in much worse situations than ours.  It certainly makes me realize how much we have to be thankful for! If you say a prayer for us tonight, please say one for that little boy too.

For years now I've had a book on my shelf by Elisabeth Elliot called, "A Path Through Suffering - Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain".   I think I originally bought it to give to someone else, but it has sat unread and ungifted upon my shelf for about 10 years now!  I've been reading it in small, digestible snippets the past few weeks.  It is certainly not light, easy reading.  If you don't know Elisabeth Elliot's first husband was a missionary who was murdered by the people he was ministering to.  She also lost her second  husband (to cancer, I believe).  She knows what suffering is all about - and she also knows the unfathomable depths of God's mercy and grace.

I'll be honest, like most people, I'm not too fond of talking about the "minor key" of life.  As Christians we are called to joy and hope and peace - and I'd rather forget about the suffering Jesus also promised (John 16:33).  We aren't supposed to be surprised when life on this earth doesn't always go like we expected - in fact we can expect difficulties, trials, and pain.  But under Christ's perfect orchestration those minor chords can create a glorious melody of triumph, victory, and glory. 

Here is a paragraph that has resonated with me today: "He wants to transform every form of human suffering into something glorious.  He can redeem it.  He can bring life out of death.  Every event of our lives provides opportunity to learn the deepest lesson anyone can learn on earth, 'My present life is not that of the old "I", but the living Christ in me' (Gala 2:20).  When our souls lie barren in a winter which seems hopeless and endless, God has not abandoned us.  His work goes on.   He asks our acceptance of the painful process and our trust . . ."

Whatever we face next week, whether it is major or minor, that is my prayer - that God will use even this to His glory.  May we be willing to embrace all that God has to teach us during this part of our journey.  No matter how long winter is, in Christ, springtime is guaranteed! 

Juliette Update

Seth is on the phone right now, and he just said what I've been thinking for days now: "It's been a long month!"  And today was definitely a long day too.  We have a lot to be thankful for - and a lot to pray about.

We kept Juliette up late last night, and decided to go ahead and drive down to The Big City and get a hotel.  She slept in (just like we hoped), so she only had thirty minutes to wait with no food or water before we checked into the hospital.  She asked for a "nack" (snack) a few times, but it really was a non-issue.  Praise God! I was dreading an I-want-breakfast breakdown. 

We did have a breakdown, but it was over not getting to play with a toy car in the pre-op room.  I guess that sort of thing should be expected from a sleep-deprived two-year-old.  Otherwise, she did great through the procedures today.  They put her under general anesthesia for both the biopsy and the CT scan.  The only issue she had was waking up - particularly because she was so sleep deprived.  Not that I can say that I blame her.  At one point both Seth and I wanted to just crawl in bed with her and join in the napping bliss.  Like I said, it has been a long month! 

With that said, we are very thankful that everything went so well with the procedures today.  In fact, she was bouncing around and happy as a lark this evening.  God is good!

But we still need a lot of prayers.  The radiologist that did the biopsy said that the "mass" has definitely grown in just the two weeks since we had the ultrasound.  What previously looked like two inflamed lymph nodes has now "morphed" into one giant lump.  He said that it could still be a viral infection of some sort (with atypical symptoms) or it could be something much more serious.  We will just have to wait for the pathologist's report - which we should have hopefully sometime next week. 

So we wait again.  Down on our knees, expectantly hoping for the best, surrendering ourselves to God's perfect will.

It's hard.  It doesn't seem fair.  I've cried more this month than I have for probably the past 12 months combined.  But I also believe that God is using this whole experience to bring about a new season in my faith walk.  If nothing else, it has certainly been a great exercise for my soul.   

"Therefore we do not lose heart. . . .For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Cor. 4:16-18

Thanks for all of your prayers, love, and support.  We are truly thankful to be surround by such a supportive group of friends and family!