Turning Into Our Parents?

Seth's parents came through town on their way home from vacation, and stayed with us for a couple of nights this week. It is always wonderful to have them here. And of course Juliette always enjoys the extra attention!

A funny topic came up yesterday, as we were all eating lunch together. We started discussing some of my father in-law's "idiosyncrasies" and the fact that Seth sometimes finds himself doing the same things. Of course the topic was funny, mostly because it was about them, and not about me. Ha!

At the end of our laughs, Seth's mom said, "It's inevitable, we all turn into our parents". What? Really? Yikes!

There is a lot of truth in that though. Good or bad, much of who we are and who we become is molded and shaped by our parents. Not only do we get their nose and chin, but often their likes/dislikes, interests, passions, and unfortunately, even idiosyncrasies.

But instead of getting panicky about the fact that I might have purchased a pair of shoes that my mother would not only like but might actually own - a fact that didn't dawn on me until I had already paid for them and put them in my closet yesterday- I am choosing to meditate on what this "inevitability" means from the flip side.

I mean, if it is certain that Juliette will inherit various aspects of my persona, how does that shape my behavior? In what ways can I strive to be a more loving and grace-filled person, in order to influence the shaping of her character? Let's face it, if she is going to be like me, I definitely want to be the best version of me that I can be!

Too bad I can't just choose what traits, habits, and even idiosyncrasies she'll inherit. That would be crazy, wouldn't it - if we could choose things like that for our children? There are things I'd definitely want to pass on to her(or not!), but some things wouldn't be so black and white. For example, would I want her to be goal-oriented, even if it meant she might always be tempted to base her self-worth on what she does, rather than who she is? Would I want her to love to read, even if it meant she might strain her eyes doing so? Would I want her to have a strong "teacher's" voice, even if she was always having to tone it down when talking one-on-one? And the thing is, certain things that I might dislike about myself, and would never dream of passing on, might not only be the very things that make me me, but they might also be what God uses to reveal Himself in her life. Hmmm. . . okay, never mind. This whole idea is a pretty stupid one.

So while picking and choosing the exact personality traits that Juliette inherits may not be possible (or even a good idea) , I am not going to give up on encouraging her to only imitate the good in me. My mantra will be "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." (1 Cor 11:1) That way, if she burns the meatloaf, drives too fast or screams loudly when she stubs her toe we can just blame that on Seth's side. Now that's a good idea! :)