Not-Me-Monday: Not My Child

My child never wears her breakfast, has bad hair days, or makes strange faces. And she certainly doesn't do all three things at the same time. Nope, not my child!
My child never ignores her grandma, whom she doesn't get to see very often, choosing rather to play with a plastic toy. My child would never choose things over people. No way!

My child did not learn to pull herself up in her crib, and then proceed to scream because she couldn't figure out how to get herself down. Nor does she like to play with elastic ribbons, only later discovering how much they hurt when you snap yourself with them. Nope, not my exceptionally bright child!

She definitely would never crawl around the house naked, while I drew her a bath. Nor would she leave little puddles of urine behind. That's disgusting. I'd never let my child do that.

And my child definitely wouldn't end up with more corn on her lap than in her tummy, nor would she throw a tantrum when she dropped the corn on the restaurant floor and I refused to return it to her. Nope, not my child.

Hmmm . . . I wonder who's kid I had all week?

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