Not-Me-Monday: The Christmas Tree

I have not been so sporadic with writing Not-Me-Monday posts that I have actually resolved to start jotting down applicable situations (a.k.a. embarrassing scrapes and scrambles) as they happen. Of course, I have not completely failed to do so. Not me!

I did not suggest to my husband that he cut down one of the few Christmas trees growing in the a desolate mountain valley because I liked the color and shape better than the plethora of trees that were further up the side of the hill. I would never be that shallow. And I would not continue to pester him about that particular tree, even when we both agreed that it was about 8 feet larger than what we needed. Not me! And while we did go with a more "appropriate tree," I am not keeping that other tree in mind for next year.

The other day I was not in such a hurry to use the restroom before taking one of my daycare children to preschool, that I failed to check the position of the toilet seat. As I was sitting down, I did not proceed to urinate all over a closed seat. Not me! That would be totally disgusting!

The star on our tree is not crooked. Nor has it been imitating the tower of pisa pretty much from day one.

When Juliette is eating a particularly messy snack, and I do not have a towel nearby, I have not been known to just put her entire hand in my mouth so that I can get a majority of the mess off. Sucking on your child's hand is taking the whole "mother's spit is clean idea" WAY too far. I would never do that. Not me!

I did not start to wish we hadn't put up a Christmas tree, after spending about two days trying to keep Juliette from demolishing not only the tree but the ornaments too. Not me! I would never get frustrated with training her, but instead would embrace it as a wonderful opportunity to teach my child self-restraint.

Queen Anne's Cordial Cherries are disgusting. But I would not proceed to forget that fact EVERY single year. I would not have to be half-way through a bite to remember that they sting my throat, they taste waxy, and that they are definitely not worth the calories. Of course, I did not find a brand of chocolate covered cherries this year, that are worth the calories. Not me. That would just be plain dangerous!

~~~

Want to join the confessional Not-Me-Monday fun? Go to: