Thursday, October 20, 2011
House Before and During Pics
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| Every room was a different color! |
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| Mice had eaten through the bottom of these cabinets! |
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| Non-working Toilet |
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| The gutted kitchen |
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| Some extra help - scrapping off the popcorn ceiling |
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| The start of the bathroom renovation |
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| One room popcorn free |
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| Master bath - with spray-painted shower tile! |
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| At least we have a view |
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| The hallway/closet of many colors (A.K.A. Joseph's Coat Closet) |
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| Painted brick fireplace |
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Terrible Mother
I’m a terrible mother.
She hadn’t had a nap, and I’d dragged her to another afternoon play rehearsal. She was cranky, tired, and just plain OVER IT! She fussed, she whined, she cried, she screamed. It wasn’t pretty. In fact – it was down right humiliating. The principal tried to cheer her up with his usually effective antics – the play director tried distracting her – we gave her a 30 gallon plastic tub of Legos to swim in. Nothing worked. She refused to be cajoled out of her tantrum.
I’m a terrible mother.
Earlier we had walked up and down the halls of the school finishing a few pre-rehearsal errands. Another teacher grabbed me to discuss some scheduling issues. As we stood there in deep conversation, I suddenly realized Juliette had disappeared. I called her name. She didn’t answer. I looked into a couple of the adjacent rooms. Nowhere. Suddenly she appeared from across the hall carrying a new found treasure – a bright blue plastic pail with the words “BARF BUCKET” boldly printed on the side.
I’m a terrible mother.
Later as the rehearsal was wrapping up, I took a few minutes to start cleaning out some of our activity storage space. Jewel had finally settled down, so I let her run around the cafeteria for a few minutes – anything to buy some peace. As I turned around to empty out a few bins, I didn’t notice that the drama club students had opened the outside doors. Two minutes later as I scanned the room, Juliette was nowhere to be found – again. But this time when I found her, she wasn’t carrying a puke receptacle; instead she was running down the school sidewalk, just feet away from oncoming traffic.
I’m a terrible mother.
It has taken quite a few days for the scene of imaginary tragedy to stop running through my head. Thank goodness my legs move faster than hers. Thank goodness she didn’t make the split second decision to bolt in front of the two cars. Thank Goodness for His guardian angels!
Yes, I definitely feel like a terrible mother!
Let’s face it, there are certainly times when we can (and probably should!) make better choices as mothers. There are times when we ask too much of ourselves or our children. There are times when we mess up – and it is ugly, gross, and terrifying.
When I think about the person I want to be, the mom I want to be, I’m realizing more and more that I just don’t measure up. I’m human. And as much as I’d love to be a perfect mom, with a perfect child, it just isn’t possible. Darn it!
But who I want to be is someone who is able to accept those human frailties in the light of God’s mercy. I want to be the type of person that doesn’t waste time beating myself up, but a person who can say, “Thank goodness God’s not finished with me yet.” I want to be able to say, “Well, I really botched that one – thank you Jesus for protecting my daughter today.” When all is said and done, I want Juliette to say, “My mother may not have been perfect, but she continually pointed me to the One Who Is.”
So yes, at times I am a terrible mother – but I am always a terribly undeserving mother who is covered by God’s beautiful, extravagant grace! And for that truth I couldn't be any more grateful.
She hadn’t had a nap, and I’d dragged her to another afternoon play rehearsal. She was cranky, tired, and just plain OVER IT! She fussed, she whined, she cried, she screamed. It wasn’t pretty. In fact – it was down right humiliating. The principal tried to cheer her up with his usually effective antics – the play director tried distracting her – we gave her a 30 gallon plastic tub of Legos to swim in. Nothing worked. She refused to be cajoled out of her tantrum.
I’m a terrible mother.
Earlier we had walked up and down the halls of the school finishing a few pre-rehearsal errands. Another teacher grabbed me to discuss some scheduling issues. As we stood there in deep conversation, I suddenly realized Juliette had disappeared. I called her name. She didn’t answer. I looked into a couple of the adjacent rooms. Nowhere. Suddenly she appeared from across the hall carrying a new found treasure – a bright blue plastic pail with the words “BARF BUCKET” boldly printed on the side.
I’m a terrible mother.
Later as the rehearsal was wrapping up, I took a few minutes to start cleaning out some of our activity storage space. Jewel had finally settled down, so I let her run around the cafeteria for a few minutes – anything to buy some peace. As I turned around to empty out a few bins, I didn’t notice that the drama club students had opened the outside doors. Two minutes later as I scanned the room, Juliette was nowhere to be found – again. But this time when I found her, she wasn’t carrying a puke receptacle; instead she was running down the school sidewalk, just feet away from oncoming traffic.
I’m a terrible mother.
It has taken quite a few days for the scene of imaginary tragedy to stop running through my head. Thank goodness my legs move faster than hers. Thank goodness she didn’t make the split second decision to bolt in front of the two cars. Thank Goodness for His guardian angels!
Yes, I definitely feel like a terrible mother!
Let’s face it, there are certainly times when we can (and probably should!) make better choices as mothers. There are times when we ask too much of ourselves or our children. There are times when we mess up – and it is ugly, gross, and terrifying.
When I think about the person I want to be, the mom I want to be, I’m realizing more and more that I just don’t measure up. I’m human. And as much as I’d love to be a perfect mom, with a perfect child, it just isn’t possible. Darn it!
But who I want to be is someone who is able to accept those human frailties in the light of God’s mercy. I want to be the type of person that doesn’t waste time beating myself up, but a person who can say, “Thank goodness God’s not finished with me yet.” I want to be able to say, “Well, I really botched that one – thank you Jesus for protecting my daughter today.” When all is said and done, I want Juliette to say, “My mother may not have been perfect, but she continually pointed me to the One Who Is.”
So yes, at times I am a terrible mother – but I am always a terribly undeserving mother who is covered by God’s beautiful, extravagant grace! And for that truth I couldn't be any more grateful.
Friday, April 1, 2011
No Fooling
Yesterday two of my dear friends and I snuck off for a Mom's Only Day of Skiing. Yippee! I wanted to make a special treat to share with my partners in
But I found this recipe - tweaked it a bit, and I have to say they are DELICIOUS. I never thought that no eggs, no oil/butter, and no white sugar would be so tasty. With no cholestoral and only about a 1/2 a gram of fat per cookie, they are pretty much a guilt-free, no-fooling, feel-good treat.
So with out further ado, here is the recipe:
Apricot Oatmeal Yummies
1 tsp. chia seeds (or 2 tsp. flax seeds) soaked in 2 Tbsps. water
1 cup. oats
1 cup. whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup. raisins
1/2 cup fresh apricots, coarsely chopped
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 cup agave nectar syrup
1/2 banana mashed
1/2 tsp. lime juice
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix chia seeds with water and set aside. Mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients and fruit. Add chia/water mixture. Combine wet and dry ingredients and spoon onto cookie sheet. Cook 10 mins our until firm. Makes 18. Enjoy!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Hard To Be Blue Around Her
A few days ago, Juliette staggered into my bedroom in the dusky morning light, with droopy, barely open eyes, whining for "blue strawberries". She curled up with me under the comforter and fell fast asleep again. I wrote off her comment as sleepy jibber-jabber, and returned to dreaming myself. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, but what was probably about 45 minutes later, she woke me again asking for "blue strawberries". I rubbed my eyes and processed as fast as my pre-breakfast brain could. Blue strawberries . . . blue strawberries . . . blue strawberries. Aha! Blue strawberries = blueberries. Of course. Breakfast is always better with some "blue strawberries"! That girl sure has taste.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ogunquit
On the hour and half drive from Boston, we had quite a discussion on how to pronounce the name.
I made the bed and breakfast owner say it several times.
I'm still not sure I have it right.
But they served a yummy wild blueberry bandana, and Seth got his Maine lobster.
I guess I'll just have to go back to Ogunquit again someday - a person's got to learn how to pronounce the places they've been.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Boston and My Beloved
Seth had a conference in Boston at the beginning of March, so we decided that I would go with him. With his crazy work/school schedule we needed a little time away together. Our in-laws were kind enough to agree to take Juliette for the week, so we took a few extra days to enjoy the town - and of course hang out with my sweet sister Courtney. It was a real treat, because last time I had been there was to help her move. Now that she has been at school there for a year and a half, she was able to show us around. I even got to sit in on one of her classes. It was fun to play college student again - at least until the professor gave out the assignments!
Seth surprised me, and bought us tickets to the Boston Symphony Orchestra. The symphony hall was so beautiful - and the music was just as lovely!
The one thing Seth said he REALLY wanted to do while we were in Boston was visit MIT and Harvard. Here is a picture of one of the Harvard dorms. A little bit nicer than CSU. Just a little bit. Haha!
I did manage to coerce Seth into visiting a few historical sites that were not institutes of higher learning.
We had a great time - even though I had worried and worried about how Juliette would do with being apart for that long (and me too, for that matter!). I even asked my friends to specifically pray for us. Well, Jewel didn't even blink an eye when we dropped her off with Grandpa and Grandma. And whenever we'd call to check in, she'd talk for about all of thirty seconds and then merrifly head off to play. The big hug I got on our return made me think that she might have missed me a little however.
Of course when Grandpa and Grandma left she cried and cried, asking over and over to go "in grandpa's car". Which just goes to show you should never waste time worrying - it doesn't help, and even if you do worry, it probably isn't even about the right things.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Seasons
It's snowing again . . . sigh. It's times like these that I have to remind myself of God's promise that there is "a season for everything".
It will be spring again.
Someday.
The past three months have been snowy, but they have also been a season of busyness for us. There have been passing moments when I have felt guilty for not taking a few moments to record the 'going ons' - but they have been - as I said - passing. More and more, I'm coming to peace with the fact that just like the natural rhythm of spring and fall, summer and winter, our lives have seasons too. Seasons of busyness and servanthood, reflection and rest. The secret of course, if making sure you don't get stuck in any one of them. No one of us wants to be caught wearing a Christmas sweater to a spring graduation party! And I certainly don't want to be accused of being ruled by a tyrannically overcrammed schedule. But I'm confident that the dust will settle eventually.
Life is such a balancing act . . . sigh (again).
January was very full - mostly with shows like 'Cat in the Hat' and 'Super Why'. Juliette's mysterious lumps, that confounded all of the doctors and specialists we visited in December, decided to abscess. So at the beginning of January, we took her to the local clinic to have the first one lanced.
We are so grateful for our little clinic here, but I'm not going to lie - it was a traumatic experience for everyone. Unfortunately, they couldn't sedate her, so it required four adults to hold her down, while the Dr. sliced it open. Before we went in for "the procedure," I was giving Seth a hard time about dreading it so. But when it actually came down to it, I was the one that nearly fainted when they opened it up (No really, the nurse made me lie down, put my feet up, and gave me a cool wash cloth for my head. Pathetic, I know!). When the doctor opened her festering abcess, the smell was ghastly, and the amount of curdled puss that came out of my little baby's neck was horrifying. To this day, I sort of throw up a little bit when I think about it.
They don't know why it abscessed - especially since she had been on several rounds of antibiotics. She developed a second abscess further up on her neck later that month.
So we spend most of January and February in front of the TV with hot-packs on Juliette's face/neck - usually for an half-an-hour, three times a day or more. We had to keep her wounds open and cleaned, which meant ripping off the scabs and squeezing out the puss multiple times a day. There were a lot of tears in our house - mostly hers, but sometimes mine too. I felt like I was practically abusing my child. She'd cry as soon as I turned on the bathroom faucet to warm up the washclothes. Poor Seth couldn't hardly take it. And when my dad visited, he had to leave the house until we were done. Yuck, yuck, yuck!
But, there were some really good things that came out of it too. We got a lot of cuddle time in. I developed an even greater respect for those in the medical field. I got really good at wrestling a squirming two-year-old. And the whole experience has made me so much more appreciative of life, health, and family in general!
The good news is - the mysterious hard lumps are gone. She still has the lance wounds on her face, but gratefully they are getting better and better each day. I'm praying that they don't scar, but even if they do, I'm just so thankful that she didn't have cancer or some other terrible, terrible disease. God is so good!
Seth has been super busy with "the hardest class of his master's degree". He also was promoted to project manager over all of the projects in the largest town in our county, plus another town that is over an hour away. This means long commutes and late nights at the office. That being said, we are so thankful for the plentiful work, especially because at the beginning of the year his boss warned him that they might be cutting hours across the board.
Note to self - be more specific when you pray. I should have not asked for more hours for Seth before they had even cut his regular hours. That will teach me!
My season of busyness has been obviously taking extra care of Jewel, trying to be supportive to my hardworking man, and putting together my big grant project at the elementary school. We had our World Fair last week - and it was terrific. If you want to see some of the things that the kids did, check it out here: http://www.fridayenrichment.blogspot.com/
My next big project: potty training. Truly there is a season for everything.
It will be spring again.
Someday.
The past three months have been snowy, but they have also been a season of busyness for us. There have been passing moments when I have felt guilty for not taking a few moments to record the 'going ons' - but they have been - as I said - passing. More and more, I'm coming to peace with the fact that just like the natural rhythm of spring and fall, summer and winter, our lives have seasons too. Seasons of busyness and servanthood, reflection and rest. The secret of course, if making sure you don't get stuck in any one of them. No one of us wants to be caught wearing a Christmas sweater to a spring graduation party! And I certainly don't want to be accused of being ruled by a tyrannically overcrammed schedule. But I'm confident that the dust will settle eventually.
Life is such a balancing act . . . sigh (again).
~~~
January was very full - mostly with shows like 'Cat in the Hat' and 'Super Why'. Juliette's mysterious lumps, that confounded all of the doctors and specialists we visited in December, decided to abscess. So at the beginning of January, we took her to the local clinic to have the first one lanced.
We are so grateful for our little clinic here, but I'm not going to lie - it was a traumatic experience for everyone. Unfortunately, they couldn't sedate her, so it required four adults to hold her down, while the Dr. sliced it open. Before we went in for "the procedure," I was giving Seth a hard time about dreading it so. But when it actually came down to it, I was the one that nearly fainted when they opened it up (No really, the nurse made me lie down, put my feet up, and gave me a cool wash cloth for my head. Pathetic, I know!). When the doctor opened her festering abcess, the smell was ghastly, and the amount of curdled puss that came out of my little baby's neck was horrifying. To this day, I sort of throw up a little bit when I think about it.
They don't know why it abscessed - especially since she had been on several rounds of antibiotics. She developed a second abscess further up on her neck later that month.
So we spend most of January and February in front of the TV with hot-packs on Juliette's face/neck - usually for an half-an-hour, three times a day or more. We had to keep her wounds open and cleaned, which meant ripping off the scabs and squeezing out the puss multiple times a day. There were a lot of tears in our house - mostly hers, but sometimes mine too. I felt like I was practically abusing my child. She'd cry as soon as I turned on the bathroom faucet to warm up the washclothes. Poor Seth couldn't hardly take it. And when my dad visited, he had to leave the house until we were done. Yuck, yuck, yuck!
But, there were some really good things that came out of it too. We got a lot of cuddle time in. I developed an even greater respect for those in the medical field. I got really good at wrestling a squirming two-year-old. And the whole experience has made me so much more appreciative of life, health, and family in general!
The good news is - the mysterious hard lumps are gone. She still has the lance wounds on her face, but gratefully they are getting better and better each day. I'm praying that they don't scar, but even if they do, I'm just so thankful that she didn't have cancer or some other terrible, terrible disease. God is so good!
~~~
Note to self - be more specific when you pray. I should have not asked for more hours for Seth before they had even cut his regular hours. That will teach me!
~~~
My next big project: potty training. Truly there is a season for everything.
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Love Poem
To Juliette - Valentine's Day 2011
When she still smelled brand new
And curled her fingers tightly around mine
And the downy hair on her head swirled perfectly
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she began to belly laugh
And did her best to squirm away from me
As I planted raspberry kisses on her newly washed tummy
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she learned to titter and totter
And discovered how to take the books off the shelf
And how to de-organize cabinets in the blink of an eye
I thought to myself- I may not love this age, but I’ll certainly miss it someday.
Tonight as we read bedtime stories
And I ran my fingers through her curls
And I tucked her into her ‘big-girl’ bed for the second night ever
I thought to myself- I love this age.
Parenthood holds so many gifts.
Each stage unwraps even more to be enjoyed.
I want to savor each moment,
Letting the magic of this journey forever write itself upon my memory.
Soon she’ll be reading, driving, making a life of her own.
The reality of the inevitable seldom lets itself be forgotten.
But if I could just bottle up these moments,
I most certainly would.
For with all my heart- I love this age.
When she still smelled brand new
And curled her fingers tightly around mine
And the downy hair on her head swirled perfectly
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she began to belly laugh
And did her best to squirm away from me
As I planted raspberry kisses on her newly washed tummy
I thought to myself- I love this age.
When she learned to titter and totter
And discovered how to take the books off the shelf
And how to de-organize cabinets in the blink of an eye
I thought to myself- I may not love this age, but I’ll certainly miss it someday.
Tonight as we read bedtime stories
And I ran my fingers through her curls
And I tucked her into her ‘big-girl’ bed for the second night ever
I thought to myself- I love this age.
Parenthood holds so many gifts.
Each stage unwraps even more to be enjoyed.
I want to savor each moment,
Letting the magic of this journey forever write itself upon my memory.
Soon she’ll be reading, driving, making a life of her own.
The reality of the inevitable seldom lets itself be forgotten.
But if I could just bottle up these moments,
I most certainly would.
For with all my heart- I love this age.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Saturday Afternoon Thoughts
We've enjoyed a laid-back Saturday. Juliette had a little birthday party to go to this morning, and is now enjoying a much needed nap. Our town is having their holiday parade and festival this evening, so all of us have just been enjoying a couple of hours of rest and relaxation before the big shin-dig.
I've used this time to catch up on a few of my friend's blogs. I came across this great entry from some friends of ours who have a daughter that was born with special needs. It is such a precious testimony of God's faithfulness to them during their journey. If you have a moment, read it. You'll be glad you did!
So many dear friends and family members have called, text, e-mailed or messaged us over the past few days. What a blessing to be surround by so many people who are faithfully lifting us up in prayer. It is making a difference - we certainly feel buoyed!
My aunt and I were talking yesterday about how easy it is to get wrapped up in our own sagas. I've certainly been guilty of that the past few weeks! As we were waiting in the pre-op waiting room and my mind was consumed with keeping Juliette content (and contained!), there was a little boy who caught my eye. He looked a little bit younger than Juliette, but was pale and listless. For more than an hour he lay nearly motionless on his mother's lap - clearly quite ill. The only time I saw him move was to vomit. His parents were very young looking, and the fear that I felt in my heart for my child looked like it was a hundred times more intense for them. They were eventually whisked away by the nurses, but the vision of that little boy has not left me. I am so thankful for the reminder that there are so many others who are in much worse situations than ours. It certainly makes me realize how much we have to be thankful for! If you say a prayer for us tonight, please say one for that little boy too.
For years now I've had a book on my shelf by Elisabeth Elliot called, "A Path Through Suffering - Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain". I think I originally bought it to give to someone else, but it has sat unread and ungifted upon my shelf for about 10 years now! I've been reading it in small, digestible snippets the past few weeks. It is certainly not light, easy reading. If you don't know Elisabeth Elliot's first husband was a missionary who was murdered by the people he was ministering to. She also lost her second husband (to cancer, I believe). She knows what suffering is all about - and she also knows the unfathomable depths of God's mercy and grace.
I'll be honest, like most people, I'm not too fond of talking about the "minor key" of life. As Christians we are called to joy and hope and peace - and I'd rather forget about the suffering Jesus also promised (John 16:33). We aren't supposed to be surprised when life on this earth doesn't always go like we expected - in fact we can expect difficulties, trials, and pain. But under Christ's perfect orchestration those minor chords can create a glorious melody of triumph, victory, and glory.
Here is a paragraph that has resonated with me today: "He wants to transform every form of human suffering into something glorious. He can redeem it. He can bring life out of death. Every event of our lives provides opportunity to learn the deepest lesson anyone can learn on earth, 'My present life is not that of the old "I", but the living Christ in me' (Gala 2:20). When our souls lie barren in a winter which seems hopeless and endless, God has not abandoned us. His work goes on. He asks our acceptance of the painful process and our trust . . ."
Whatever we face next week, whether it is major or minor, that is my prayer - that God will use even this to His glory. May we be willing to embrace all that God has to teach us during this part of our journey. No matter how long winter is, in Christ, springtime is guaranteed!
I've used this time to catch up on a few of my friend's blogs. I came across this great entry from some friends of ours who have a daughter that was born with special needs. It is such a precious testimony of God's faithfulness to them during their journey. If you have a moment, read it. You'll be glad you did!
So many dear friends and family members have called, text, e-mailed or messaged us over the past few days. What a blessing to be surround by so many people who are faithfully lifting us up in prayer. It is making a difference - we certainly feel buoyed!
My aunt and I were talking yesterday about how easy it is to get wrapped up in our own sagas. I've certainly been guilty of that the past few weeks! As we were waiting in the pre-op waiting room and my mind was consumed with keeping Juliette content (and contained!), there was a little boy who caught my eye. He looked a little bit younger than Juliette, but was pale and listless. For more than an hour he lay nearly motionless on his mother's lap - clearly quite ill. The only time I saw him move was to vomit. His parents were very young looking, and the fear that I felt in my heart for my child looked like it was a hundred times more intense for them. They were eventually whisked away by the nurses, but the vision of that little boy has not left me. I am so thankful for the reminder that there are so many others who are in much worse situations than ours. It certainly makes me realize how much we have to be thankful for! If you say a prayer for us tonight, please say one for that little boy too.
For years now I've had a book on my shelf by Elisabeth Elliot called, "A Path Through Suffering - Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain". I think I originally bought it to give to someone else, but it has sat unread and ungifted upon my shelf for about 10 years now! I've been reading it in small, digestible snippets the past few weeks. It is certainly not light, easy reading. If you don't know Elisabeth Elliot's first husband was a missionary who was murdered by the people he was ministering to. She also lost her second husband (to cancer, I believe). She knows what suffering is all about - and she also knows the unfathomable depths of God's mercy and grace.
I'll be honest, like most people, I'm not too fond of talking about the "minor key" of life. As Christians we are called to joy and hope and peace - and I'd rather forget about the suffering Jesus also promised (John 16:33). We aren't supposed to be surprised when life on this earth doesn't always go like we expected - in fact we can expect difficulties, trials, and pain. But under Christ's perfect orchestration those minor chords can create a glorious melody of triumph, victory, and glory.
Here is a paragraph that has resonated with me today: "He wants to transform every form of human suffering into something glorious. He can redeem it. He can bring life out of death. Every event of our lives provides opportunity to learn the deepest lesson anyone can learn on earth, 'My present life is not that of the old "I", but the living Christ in me' (Gala 2:20). When our souls lie barren in a winter which seems hopeless and endless, God has not abandoned us. His work goes on. He asks our acceptance of the painful process and our trust . . ."
Whatever we face next week, whether it is major or minor, that is my prayer - that God will use even this to His glory. May we be willing to embrace all that God has to teach us during this part of our journey. No matter how long winter is, in Christ, springtime is guaranteed!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Juliette Update
Seth is on the phone right now, and he just said what I've been thinking for days now: "It's been a long month!" And today was definitely a long day too. We have a lot to be thankful for - and a lot to pray about.
We kept Juliette up late last night, and decided to go ahead and drive down to The Big City and get a hotel. She slept in (just like we hoped), so she only had thirty minutes to wait with no food or water before we checked into the hospital. She asked for a "nack" (snack) a few times, but it really was a non-issue. Praise God! I was dreading an I-want-breakfast breakdown.
We did have a breakdown, but it was over not getting to play with a toy car in the pre-op room. I guess that sort of thing should be expected from a sleep-deprived two-year-old. Otherwise, she did great through the procedures today. They put her under general anesthesia for both the biopsy and the CT scan. The only issue she had was waking up - particularly because she was so sleep deprived. Not that I can say that I blame her. At one point both Seth and I wanted to just crawl in bed with her and join in the napping bliss. Like I said, it has been a long month!
With that said, we are very thankful that everything went so well with the procedures today. In fact, she was bouncing around and happy as a lark this evening. God is good!
But we still need a lot of prayers. The radiologist that did the biopsy said that the "mass" has definitely grown in just the two weeks since we had the ultrasound. What previously looked like two inflamed lymph nodes has now "morphed" into one giant lump. He said that it could still be a viral infection of some sort (with atypical symptoms) or it could be something much more serious. We will just have to wait for the pathologist's report - which we should have hopefully sometime next week.
So we wait again. Down on our knees, expectantly hoping for the best, surrendering ourselves to God's perfect will.
It's hard. It doesn't seem fair. I've cried more this month than I have for probably the past 12 months combined. But I also believe that God is using this whole experience to bring about a new season in my faith walk. If nothing else, it has certainly been a great exercise for my soul.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. . . .For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Cor. 4:16-18
Thanks for all of your prayers, love, and support. We are truly thankful to be surround by such a supportive group of friends and family!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Fall Fun
Today is the first of November. Seriously? Now that is spooky. It seemed like it was just the first week of October a few days ago. At the rate time is flying by I should have finished my holiday shopping two weeks ago, because Christmas will be in a half-an-hour.
Besides some minor miscommunications (haha!) - this fall has been quite fun. I've really enjoyed my part-time job at the school. We've gone on several fun field trips, and had some great learning experience days - everything from learning about the legislative process to making our own scratch plate prints to playing chemists. I started a little blog for all of the parents/students to follow: fridayenrichment.blogspot.com
We've also had a great time with our MOPS group. Here are some pictures from our meeting this week - got to love the kiddos in their costumes:
And look as this cutey-patootie!
Last weekend we took a road trip and met up with Seth's parents. They took Juliette to the children's musuem while we met up with a dear friend of ours and went to our first ever pro-football game.
Besides some minor miscommunications (haha!) - this fall has been quite fun. I've really enjoyed my part-time job at the school. We've gone on several fun field trips, and had some great learning experience days - everything from learning about the legislative process to making our own scratch plate prints to playing chemists. I started a little blog for all of the parents/students to follow: fridayenrichment.blogspot.com
We've also had a great time with our MOPS group. Here are some pictures from our meeting this week - got to love the kiddos in their costumes:
And look as this cutey-patootie!
Last weekend we took a road trip and met up with Seth's parents. They took Juliette to the children's musuem while we met up with a dear friend of ours and went to our first ever pro-football game.
Our team played atrosiously - but we had a great time and enjoyed some good laughs.
It's been a fun fall, and with the glorious weather we've had I'm pretty sure it's my favorite time of year!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Better Than A Not-Me-Monday
This weekend Seth and I had a communication mix-up to beat all. We have had plenty of these before - but this one definitely takes the cake.
Hunting season started on Labor day, and seeing that it has two more weeks until it's over, a lot of wives on the High Arid Plains are feeling a little stir crazy these days - myself being no exception. Seth also agreed to help hang gutter at the church building on Saturday, so his weekend was very full. So while he stayed up late Friday night loading his gear, and left the house early Saturday morning to squeeze in as much elk hunting as he could before hanging gutters, I stayed home to try and recover from the stomach bug that has been haunting our town for several weeks now. Besides being sick and a bit stir crazy, Juliette and I also had an off-week. She had more temper tantrums and defiant moments over the week than she has had in her entire life- it's like someone told her she was two or something - and being sick I had little patience for it.
So after a day of feeling puny and trying to corral a very active, stubborn, and whiny child - I called Seth and told him that I needed him home NOW! He said that they needed to finish, and I didn't bother telling him why I was so upset, but just hung up the phone in a huff. At that point I decided to try and feed Juliette dinner. She didn't like what I offered her, and she was upset that we didn't have any milk, so I decided to put MYSELF in a time-out and went into my room and shut the door for a few minutes. Realizing that she still wasn't getting what she wanted, Juliette proceeded to bang on the door and cry even louder - resulting in her knocking a picture off the wall.
At the sound of the crashing glass, I rushed out of my room, scooped her up, and decided we both needed to get out of the house for awhile. I'd clean the mess up later - when I had regained my patience.
We hopped in the car, grabbed a snack from the convenience store, and proceed to drive. There was a road that I'd always wanted to explore, and I had heard rumors that it went to a neighboring town, so we took off down the dirt. At one point I realized that I'd left my phone behind in my hurry - but I didn't think much about it. The whir of the wheels and the Veggie Tales Sunday School Songs soundtrack soothed Juliette into contentment, and I drank in the breathtaking vistas punctuated with the last of the fall foliage. Finally - a little peace!
In the meantime . . .
Seth decided that my desperate phone call, accentuated with Juliette's screams in the background, might mean that something was seriously wrong - so he left the church building and headed home. On the way he tried to call me a few times, but couldn't get through.
When he got to the house, he noticed that my car was gone, that Juliette's food was on the table, and that there was a huge pile of glass shards in the hallway. Instantly he thought that one of us must have gotten hurt. He looked for a note - but of course there wasn't one. He tried calling my phone, only to discover that I'd left it behind. Clearly, her injuries must have been so bad that she's left everything behind in her hurry to get to medical care - he thought.
He drove down to the clinic, but didn't find us there. He noticed the ambulance was out of the station - so that worried him even more. He called our friends, our doctor, the emergency room in the neighboring town, the police dispatch, everyone he could think of. And of course, they hadn't seen or heard anything about me or the accident.
Finally, he decided that we must be in route to the emergency room, so he took off to the nearest one (45 miles one way!). When he got there, we were no where to be found. I'd disappeared. He worried that maybe I went to the next biggest town's emergency room, but he admitted that it just didn't make a whole lot of sense. He decided to head back to the house to regroup.
In the meantime . . .
Even though we had such a nice, peaceful drive, I was quite perturbed when I drove into our driveway and noticed that Seth was not home. It had been several hours since my initial SOS call, and he still wasn't back. Humph - I thought to myself - I better get a big apology out of this one!
I unloaded Juliette from the car, settled her in the living room, and started cleaning up the broken glass when I heard Seth come through the door. Honey, is that you? Are you all right? Where have you been? I thought something was really wrong. I thought you or Juliette were really hurt! The words poured from his lips, as the look of concern melted from his eyes. As he relayed the story - I couldn't help but stop rehearsing the You-Owe-Me-Big-Time-Buddy-Speech I'd been playing through my head for the past few hours.
You what? I asked him. You did what? He had to start his whole story over again. But why did you think we were hurt? I asked, putting slivers of glass into the black plastic bag. He explained it yet again, and as I looked at the circumstances from his eyes, I couldn't help but giggle. Oh honey - what a mix-up!
He had to call our friends and tell them Juliette and I were okay. I had to explain to the police officer that visited us a few minutes later that not only were we okay, but we'd never been hurt in the first place. Seth had to admit that he sort of went a little overboard. I had to apologize for being so rude, for forgetting my phone, and for scaring him so unnecessarily. We both had to laugh.
Seth preached the next day in a neighboring town. As we were driving along, I asked him what his topic was, and he looked at me and grinned. How about 'Communication,' he teased.
Hunting season started on Labor day, and seeing that it has two more weeks until it's over, a lot of wives on the High Arid Plains are feeling a little stir crazy these days - myself being no exception. Seth also agreed to help hang gutter at the church building on Saturday, so his weekend was very full. So while he stayed up late Friday night loading his gear, and left the house early Saturday morning to squeeze in as much elk hunting as he could before hanging gutters, I stayed home to try and recover from the stomach bug that has been haunting our town for several weeks now. Besides being sick and a bit stir crazy, Juliette and I also had an off-week. She had more temper tantrums and defiant moments over the week than she has had in her entire life- it's like someone told her she was two or something - and being sick I had little patience for it.
So after a day of feeling puny and trying to corral a very active, stubborn, and whiny child - I called Seth and told him that I needed him home NOW! He said that they needed to finish, and I didn't bother telling him why I was so upset, but just hung up the phone in a huff. At that point I decided to try and feed Juliette dinner. She didn't like what I offered her, and she was upset that we didn't have any milk, so I decided to put MYSELF in a time-out and went into my room and shut the door for a few minutes. Realizing that she still wasn't getting what she wanted, Juliette proceeded to bang on the door and cry even louder - resulting in her knocking a picture off the wall.
At the sound of the crashing glass, I rushed out of my room, scooped her up, and decided we both needed to get out of the house for awhile. I'd clean the mess up later - when I had regained my patience.
We hopped in the car, grabbed a snack from the convenience store, and proceed to drive. There was a road that I'd always wanted to explore, and I had heard rumors that it went to a neighboring town, so we took off down the dirt. At one point I realized that I'd left my phone behind in my hurry - but I didn't think much about it. The whir of the wheels and the Veggie Tales Sunday School Songs soundtrack soothed Juliette into contentment, and I drank in the breathtaking vistas punctuated with the last of the fall foliage. Finally - a little peace!
In the meantime . . .
Seth decided that my desperate phone call, accentuated with Juliette's screams in the background, might mean that something was seriously wrong - so he left the church building and headed home. On the way he tried to call me a few times, but couldn't get through.
When he got to the house, he noticed that my car was gone, that Juliette's food was on the table, and that there was a huge pile of glass shards in the hallway. Instantly he thought that one of us must have gotten hurt. He looked for a note - but of course there wasn't one. He tried calling my phone, only to discover that I'd left it behind. Clearly, her injuries must have been so bad that she's left everything behind in her hurry to get to medical care - he thought.
He drove down to the clinic, but didn't find us there. He noticed the ambulance was out of the station - so that worried him even more. He called our friends, our doctor, the emergency room in the neighboring town, the police dispatch, everyone he could think of. And of course, they hadn't seen or heard anything about me or the accident.
Finally, he decided that we must be in route to the emergency room, so he took off to the nearest one (45 miles one way!). When he got there, we were no where to be found. I'd disappeared. He worried that maybe I went to the next biggest town's emergency room, but he admitted that it just didn't make a whole lot of sense. He decided to head back to the house to regroup.
In the meantime . . .
Even though we had such a nice, peaceful drive, I was quite perturbed when I drove into our driveway and noticed that Seth was not home. It had been several hours since my initial SOS call, and he still wasn't back. Humph - I thought to myself - I better get a big apology out of this one!
I unloaded Juliette from the car, settled her in the living room, and started cleaning up the broken glass when I heard Seth come through the door. Honey, is that you? Are you all right? Where have you been? I thought something was really wrong. I thought you or Juliette were really hurt! The words poured from his lips, as the look of concern melted from his eyes. As he relayed the story - I couldn't help but stop rehearsing the You-Owe-Me-Big-Time-Buddy-Speech I'd been playing through my head for the past few hours.
You what? I asked him. You did what? He had to start his whole story over again. But why did you think we were hurt? I asked, putting slivers of glass into the black plastic bag. He explained it yet again, and as I looked at the circumstances from his eyes, I couldn't help but giggle. Oh honey - what a mix-up!
He had to call our friends and tell them Juliette and I were okay. I had to explain to the police officer that visited us a few minutes later that not only were we okay, but we'd never been hurt in the first place. Seth had to admit that he sort of went a little overboard. I had to apologize for being so rude, for forgetting my phone, and for scaring him so unnecessarily. We both had to laugh.
Seth preached the next day in a neighboring town. As we were driving along, I asked him what his topic was, and he looked at me and grinned. How about 'Communication,' he teased.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Humor Me
Humor me a minute . . . but I need to vent.
Tonight Seth and I attended the open forum our town was holding for all candidates who were running for state and local office. The good news was that the attendance was up - compared to the forum that was held prior to the primary elections. And our town is small, and our county pretty sparsely populated, and there were a lot of other events going on tonight - BUT SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, WHERE WERE YOU?
I get that politics isn't everybody's forte. I understand that people are disillusioned and frustrated by what they've seen and continue to see in Washington - or even at a state level. But candidates don't just get their jobs magically - they get there because of voters just like you and me. And if we blindly go to vote and have no idea who we are voting for, or recognize the names on the ballot, or have a face for that name, or any clue about what ideas might be rolling around in the brain behind that face - aren't we just as guilty for the state of the nation as those who make the decisions?
And to my generation who was woefully underrepresented tonight - SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE YOU? I know we are busy with our careers, and raising children, and watching the Biggest Loser but we are adults now - it's time we started acting like it. It's time we stood up and accepted our civic responsibilities.
I don't watch CSPAN on a regular basis - I've never contributed to a campaign - and when I turned eighteen I didn't register to vote in time for the election that year. But seriously, I do believe there is value in being an informed voter - and when the candidates come to our backyard, surely we all should jump at the opportunity to get to know them a little better. SO, WHERE WERE YOU?
I hope I don't have to complain about the attendance at tomorrow night's local candidates forum. I'd certainly hate to ask you to humor me again.
Tonight Seth and I attended the open forum our town was holding for all candidates who were running for state and local office. The good news was that the attendance was up - compared to the forum that was held prior to the primary elections. And our town is small, and our county pretty sparsely populated, and there were a lot of other events going on tonight - BUT SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, WHERE WERE YOU?
I get that politics isn't everybody's forte. I understand that people are disillusioned and frustrated by what they've seen and continue to see in Washington - or even at a state level. But candidates don't just get their jobs magically - they get there because of voters just like you and me. And if we blindly go to vote and have no idea who we are voting for, or recognize the names on the ballot, or have a face for that name, or any clue about what ideas might be rolling around in the brain behind that face - aren't we just as guilty for the state of the nation as those who make the decisions?
And to my generation who was woefully underrepresented tonight - SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE YOU? I know we are busy with our careers, and raising children, and watching the Biggest Loser but we are adults now - it's time we started acting like it. It's time we stood up and accepted our civic responsibilities.
I don't watch CSPAN on a regular basis - I've never contributed to a campaign - and when I turned eighteen I didn't register to vote in time for the election that year. But seriously, I do believe there is value in being an informed voter - and when the candidates come to our backyard, surely we all should jump at the opportunity to get to know them a little better. SO, WHERE WERE YOU?
I hope I don't have to complain about the attendance at tomorrow night's local candidates forum. I'd certainly hate to ask you to humor me again.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sometimes We Just Need To
Juliette lightly bumped her foot against the sideboard, and she ran to me with huge tears welling in her eyes, as her voice reached an all-time record on the whiny scale. She is generally pretty tough when it comes to things like this, but she was having an off day, on top of being hungry and tired. I was feeling exhausted, and I was tempted to briskly tell her that she was okay, and that she needed to stop her blubbering. And then the thought occurred to me, "I'm the one she runs to".
What a thought . . . what an honor! When she is hurting she wants me to hold her, she wants me to rock her, she wants me to kiss her boo-boos and stroke her back. She wants me to tell her that everything is all right. She wants to know that I care, that I love her, and that I'll be there the next time she needs comforting.
As I scooped her up in my arms, and lavished as much love as I could on that stubbed toe, I suddenly caught a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father must feel when we come to him with our bumps, scrapes, and emotional wounds. He, being the Perfect Parent, actually can heal our life-owies, and I don't think He every runs short on patience or tenderness. He wants to be the One we run to - and He is waiting with open arms. Oh to be childlike enough to run to Him without a moment's hesitation, with complete and wild abandon - confident of His comfort, secure in His love.
Sweet little Jewel, you teach me more and more about Jesus everyday. I sure am lucky to me your mama!
Before we got married, a very wise, married man pulled Seth aside for some words of advice. This man is a salt-of-the-earth, quiet-mannered car mechanic. He is unassuming in every way, and yet he is one of the most gentle, caring servants I've ever known. He is not the type to spout out opinions, so when he pulled Seth aside, Seth listened carefully.
Since I wasn't there, I don't know exactly how the conversation went or the exact words that were said, but Seth told me later that our friend said something like this: "Sometimes girls just need to cry. They don't need a reason and you don't need to try and make them stop or fix' anything. Just hold them and let them cry. Sometimes they just need to do that."
EVERY man needs to hear those words. Because I'm pretty sure EVERY girl has moments like that. At least they do around this house. And EVERY time those moments come, I'm so thankful for an unassuming, salt-of-the-earth mechanic who took a few moments to share his wisdom, and for a husband willing to listen to sage advice.
What a thought . . . what an honor! When she is hurting she wants me to hold her, she wants me to rock her, she wants me to kiss her boo-boos and stroke her back. She wants me to tell her that everything is all right. She wants to know that I care, that I love her, and that I'll be there the next time she needs comforting.
As I scooped her up in my arms, and lavished as much love as I could on that stubbed toe, I suddenly caught a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father must feel when we come to him with our bumps, scrapes, and emotional wounds. He, being the Perfect Parent, actually can heal our life-owies, and I don't think He every runs short on patience or tenderness. He wants to be the One we run to - and He is waiting with open arms. Oh to be childlike enough to run to Him without a moment's hesitation, with complete and wild abandon - confident of His comfort, secure in His love.
Sweet little Jewel, you teach me more and more about Jesus everyday. I sure am lucky to me your mama!
~~~
"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you . . . " - Isaiah 66:13
~~~
Before we got married, a very wise, married man pulled Seth aside for some words of advice. This man is a salt-of-the-earth, quiet-mannered car mechanic. He is unassuming in every way, and yet he is one of the most gentle, caring servants I've ever known. He is not the type to spout out opinions, so when he pulled Seth aside, Seth listened carefully.
Since I wasn't there, I don't know exactly how the conversation went or the exact words that were said, but Seth told me later that our friend said something like this: "Sometimes girls just need to cry. They don't need a reason and you don't need to try and make them stop or fix' anything. Just hold them and let them cry. Sometimes they just need to do that."
EVERY man needs to hear those words. Because I'm pretty sure EVERY girl has moments like that. At least they do around this house. And EVERY time those moments come, I'm so thankful for an unassuming, salt-of-the-earth mechanic who took a few moments to share his wisdom, and for a husband willing to listen to sage advice.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Words of Wisdom
"Life is too short to refrain from eating jam out of the jar."
- The Mountain Goats, "Jam Eater Blues"
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Cake Know-How
So in researching how to make an Elmo Cake I came across this great website: http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/
This site is an open forum for individuals to post pictures and how-to steps for cakes that they've created. Everything from animal and animated cakes to vehicle cakes and sport themed cakes. They had over 7 pages of Elmo cakes alone! It was very helpful to browse through other people's ideas and suggestions, and I definitely think I'll be checking out their site next time a novelty cake is requested.
But if the amount of times Juliette has asked for Elmo cake since her birthday is any indication, I may be making the same cake for years to come.
This site is an open forum for individuals to post pictures and how-to steps for cakes that they've created. Everything from animal and animated cakes to vehicle cakes and sport themed cakes. They had over 7 pages of Elmo cakes alone! It was very helpful to browse through other people's ideas and suggestions, and I definitely think I'll be checking out their site next time a novelty cake is requested.
But if the amount of times Juliette has asked for Elmo cake since her birthday is any indication, I may be making the same cake for years to come.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Not-Me-Monday: Parenting Adventures
This week Juliette did not decide to expand her artistic repertoire to include such mediums as our beige ottomans. And espying our beige furniture "decorated" with dark ball-point pen, I did not throw a fit that would make any two-year-old jealous. I did not act like they were expensive, irreplaceable items that had been in the family for centuries instead of cheap, poorly made footrests that were already championing some stains from Seth's late night snacking. Nope, not me!
At Juliette's preschool's open house, she did not try to eat the plastic cheese. I did not try to discreetly smuggle the pretend food away from her and into the back where I rinsed it off either. Not me!
I did not let Juliette "help" can peaches by merely giving her a bowl full of pits and peels. She did not then proceed to eat the peels and suck on the pits. That's just cruel.
Later I did not find that she had managed to get her hands on a "real" peach, only to apparently find it rather boring. Certainly not.
Juliette is not obsessed with rocks. I do not find them littered about my house, nor do we have to stop every fifteen feet whenever we are outside in order to let her pick up and closely inspect a "better" rock. They are not stacked up on our porch, nor did I actually find one this week, the size of a orange, rolled up in her sheets. I did not add "check bed for rocks" to my mental list for her bedtime routine. Nope not me!
Parenting is most definitely not full of adventures!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Birthday Celebrations Cont.
No matter how many different options I gave her, no matter how I posed the question, Juliette's answer to what type of cake she wanted was always, "Elmo Cake". So here it is:
After all, this may be the only year she wants a furry, orange, big-nosed smiley face for dessert.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Birthday Celebrations
Before I was a mom I had all of these ideas of how I was going to do things. I know that this probably won't come as a complete shock to all who knew me before I was a mom. And it probably won't come as a complete shock to all who met me after I was a mom. But there is a part of me that wants, wishes, okay REALLY, REALLY HOPES that becoming a mom has made me a better person - a more relaxed person, a more flexible person, and do I dare say it . . . a more fun person.
The "before I was a mom" person had certain ideas about motherhood and parenting. Including some very specific ideas about birthdays. Don't laugh . . . I'm totally serious here. In my previous personhood mind I felt like it was wrong (yes, wrong!) to always through large parties, buy elaborate presents, and make a big to-do over a child's birthday. I felt strongly that this only encouraged materialism and taught the child that it was okay to buy into our commercialized society.
But that was before I saw this . . .
. . . my little girl full of anticipation over opening her birthday gift. Don't get me wrong, I still want her to learn to appreciate the simple things. I still want her to learn the value of having a content heart. I want her to recycle, reuse, and repurpose. But honestly, right now I'm just enjoying watching her rip the paper.
The "before I was a mom" person had certain ideas about motherhood and parenting. Including some very specific ideas about birthdays. Don't laugh . . . I'm totally serious here. In my previous personhood mind I felt like it was wrong (yes, wrong!) to always through large parties, buy elaborate presents, and make a big to-do over a child's birthday. I felt strongly that this only encouraged materialism and taught the child that it was okay to buy into our commercialized society.
But that was before I saw this . . .
. . . my little girl full of anticipation over opening her birthday gift. Don't get me wrong, I still want her to learn to appreciate the simple things. I still want her to learn the value of having a content heart. I want her to recycle, reuse, and repurpose. But honestly, right now I'm just enjoying watching her rip the paper.
Like I said, motherhood has changed me.
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